A Brand New Start

If the last weeks of boredom, insecurities and silent rages have taught me anything it's that I am one unhappy person. I didn't have to read my blogs of the last 3-4 yrs to tell myself that. I'm just plain unhappy and I want it to stop. Therefore I deleted my blog. Hopefully I can delete all the memories with it. I don't want the memories or my past. "But, Naomi, what about the good memories?" you may ask. I can guarantee you that would ever good memories were in those thoughts they in no way outnumber the bad stuff in there.Besides the good memories I probably have pictures of and probably have the memories stored in my head.

So I'm hoping to start new. I'm in a rut and I need to get myself out of it. I need a project, I need people I can trust to be 100% around me and I need my drive back. My determination. I used to be super determined. Super ambitious, super sure. I've let these people at NYU destroy that in me. All the people who don't like me, the people who talk behind my back, the people who leave me out of things, etc, etc WELL FUCK YOU ALL.

I'm starting new and the first thing that I'm changing is my tolerance in people. It turns out I don't give a flying fuck who doesn't like me, because in all honesty, you guys don't know me. I thought about this. 100% of people I've heard don't like me are people who never took the time to know me at all, and that's completely fine. Because I'm awesome and I'm going to continue to be awesome.

And I'm a changed woman. I'm going to try my damndest to be optimistic, because lets face it I am negative. I do not enjoy life. I do not see the good in things. So below are the things tht are good in my life.

1. I am alive. That's no small thing considering the health issues I have struggled with my entire existence and the fact that I am months early and was super small.

2. Film. I love film. It's been what? 16 yrs and I still adore film as much today as I did when I was a 5 yr old kid watching classics on my grandmothers rug. That's no small thing.

3. Family. As annoying as they are, their here.

I' m sure there are more... I can't think of any, but there are prob more.