Things to buy for the new me...

Lately, I've been hearing how cute I look or how gorgeous. That's because I've been finally dressing myself the way I have always wanted to dress. Before I was ashamed of my feet, my legs, my height and weight. I would dress in clothes to camouflage and hide myself. Now, I 'm dressing in clothes I love, dresses, tights, shoes and purses and I'm putting them on and feeling good about myself. I also have hair that works, wearing make up and smiling more... it works.

But my wardrobe is a bit sparse. I'm slowly shopping adding things in, below are a few things I need and every girl should have.

1. A Little Black Dress. It can be any shape, any sleeve length, but you need to have at least one of these, preferably one made with a jersey fabric that you can throw in the washing machine for easy, affordable care.

2. A White Button-down. An American classic—this is one of my favorite summer looks. A button down and jeans shorts.

3. Dark Trouser Jeans. Fits and washes go in and out of style but trouser cuts are always classic and classy! They’re also the most universally flattering.

4. A Bright, Lightweight Scarf. This is not just a winter item—gauzy summer scarves dress up t-shirts and help battle frigid office air-conditioning!

5. A Grey Merino Sweater. Grey is the new black AND the new white. It’s a neutral that looks good with virtually every complexion.

Invictus

Three posts in one day! WHEW. I just watched the film "Invictus" by Clint Eastwood. I already knew it, but Nelson Mandela, BOY what an amazing human being. There are a few words that helped him to survive his time in prison and the words have stuck with me.

INVICTUS by William Ernest Henley

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

My current mood!

Who understands me better then Diana Ross? Lyrics below




I'M COMING OUT
I'm coming out
I'm coming
I'm coming out
I'm coming out
I'm coming out
I'm coming out

I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show

There's a new me coming out
And I just had to live
And I wanna give
I'm completely positive
I think this time around
I am gonna do it
Like you never do it
Like you never knew it
Ooh, I'll make it through

The time has come for me
To break out of the shell
I have to shout
That I'm coming out

I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show

I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show

I've got to show the world
All that I wanna be
And all my billities
Ther's so much more to me
Somehow, I have to make them
Just understand
I got it well in hand
And, oh, how I've planned
I'm spreadin' love
There's no need to fear
And I just feel so glad
Everytime I hear:

I'm coming out
I want the world to know
Got to let it show
I'm coming out
I want the world to know
I got to let it show

Happiness in 4 Easy Steps...I hope.

I've been remissing. Dropping the maybe cancer blog and then not telling you more!!! So, No I do not have cancer! Even though for a good week I convinced myself I did. Started thinking about how I would make a documentary about the process of having cancer and then of course win Cannes and Sundance. I thought about all the classes I would miss, not being able to put in fake hair, because my real hair would fall out. The chemo, the radiation, the sickness. My friends disappearing, because sadly that's what happens sometimes when you're sick. Alas, I did not have cancer. My lump is benign and I'm going to live.

Still the whole idea of being sick with something that could possibly kill you is intense. I thought about my life, A LOT. I realized that it's time to get happy. To get excited about life and my future, so I have some steps I plan on taking.

1. Quit the job- I'm a rising senior in my dream school. I still live at home during the summers and don't really need things. It's good having pocket change, BUT, the job is too little money for too much work. Also, I don't want to be in situations where I work and no one else does. Where they sitting is against the rules, even if nothing is happening. I cannot stand up for 8 + hours just can't.

2. Get rid of friends who I do not trust- There are plenty of people in my life, who question me, have no faith in me, ridicule me either behind my back or even in front of my face. One friend in particular doesn't realize she has an expressive face and everytime she doubts me, it pisses me off and hurts my feelings. So, basically, if you don't respect me as a filmmaker/artitst, etc, you are done. There's too much at stake in this life for me to be surrounded by fake friends.

3.Loose some weight, but not give up on food- I love food. But I'm way over weight. I've always had a gut, but now my ass is HUGE! But, I love food. And I believe in happiness, but that doesn't mean I need to eat a pint of Ben&Jerry's in one day or that I need that extra piece of cheesecake every time I go to Barnes and noble. It's about moderation, people.

4.Doing things I love- I'm going to continue with Naomi's cooking school and I'm going to make outlandish meals. I'm going to go to the MET, the zoo and other places where I know I'll have a good time. Movies, I'm going to watch good movies. Friends, I'm going to spend more time with my friends.


4 easy steps. Hopefully it'll lead to good things